As our world tries to cope with all the changes forced on us by the pandemic, many of us have noticed how companies are handling customer service. I’ve learned to say now it’s customer disservice after spending 5 hours on the phone with a huge company trying to sort out my author account. Having been linked to several different people, all of whom made me prove yet again who I was, and none of whom could help me, and for each of whom I was put on hold, I was passed to a soft-spoken man. Yet again, he asked for all my details which by now I could recite in my sleep.
I started to yell. At the top of my voice. And it’s a singing/speaking voice so I can be loud.
He waited for me to pause and then said, “Elaine, I am fixing the problem right now.”
And he did.
My takeaway from that? Yell right off the bat and you won’t have to wait for 5 hours to get the problem solved.
………
My husband is a funny guy. His reaction to all of this was to make up one of his famous lists. I’ve included it here for you. Grab your favourite comfort drink and read on.
Your Call is Important to Us …
12 best messages for companies who are backlogged with support calls
to use when customers call in for help.
1. “Your call is important to us, leave a message at the tone and we will get back to you within 5 business days. We promise!”
2. “Your call is important to us; leave your name, number and complaint details and our customer service team will have a good laugh.”
3. “Your call is important to us, we’ll just put you on hold while we help the first 100 people in our queue.”
4. “Your call is important to us, but our helpful service person has an appointment with her psychiatrist today and is not available.”
5. “Your call is important to us, but surely you can solve your own problem if you just work a little harder.”
6. “Your call is important to us, press “1” for a downloadable free copy of our 500-page Service Manual.”
7. “Your call is important to us, press “2” to renew your service contract for another 5 years and then we will be glad to help you.”
8. “Your call is important to us, send an email to us with your complaint details. “service@goodluck.com.”
9. “Your call is important to us, please call back later and in the meantime we will try to find a real person who might be truly anxious to really assist you.”
10. “Your call is important to us. Whoa!! Can’t you take a joke?
11. “Your call is important to us, but not as important as our bottom line.
12. “Your call is important to us. OK, not us! But probably to someone out there.
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